Scottish novelist & dramatist (1860-1937)
Sympathy is what all the world is craving for, and sympathy is what the ordinary holiday-maker never gets. How can we be expected to sympathize with you when we know you are off to Perthshire to fish? No; we say we wish we were you, and forget that your holiday is sure to be a hollow mockery; that your child will jam her finger in the railway carriage, and scream to the end of the journey; that you will lose your luggage; that the guard will notice your dog beneath the seat, and insist on its being paid for; that you will be caught in a Scotch mist on the top of a mountain, and be put on gruel for a fortnight; that your wife will fret herself into a fever about the way the servant, who has been left at home, is carrying on with her cousins, the milkman and the policeman; and that you will be had up for trespassing.
J.M. BARRIE
"A Holiday in Bed", A Holiday in Bed and Other Sketches
People have tried a holiday in bed before now, and found it a failure, but that was because they were ignorant of the rules. They went to bed with the open intention of staying there, say, three days, and found to their surprise that each morning they wanted to get up. This was a novel experience to them, they flung about restlessly, and probably shortened their holiday. The proper thing is to take your holiday in bed with a vague intention of getting up in another quarter of an hour. The real pleasure of lying in bed after you are awake is largely due to the feeling that you ought to get up. To take another quarter of an hour then becomes a luxury. You are, in short, in the position of the man who dined on larks. Had he seen the hundreds that were ready for him, all set out on one monster dish, they would have turned his stomach; but getting them two at a time, he went on eating till all the larks were exhausted. His feeling of uncertainty as to whether these might not be his last two larks is your feeling that, perhaps, you will have to get up in a quarter of an hour. Deceive yourself in this way, and your holiday in bed will pass only too quickly.
J.M. BARRIE
"A Holiday in Bed", A Holiday in Bed and Other Sketches
Never ascribe to an opponent motives meaner than your own.
J.M. BARRIE
speech, May 3, 1922
The best of our fiction is by novelists who allow that it is as good as they can give, and the worst by novelists who maintain that they could do much better if only the public would let them.
J.M. BARRIE
The Contemporary Review
Those who work hard ought to eat plentifully, or they will find that they are burning the candle at both ends. Surely no science is required to prove this. Work is, so to speak, a furnace, and the brighter the fire the more coals it ought to be fed with, or it will go out.
J.M. BARRIE
"Every Man His Own Doctor", A Holiday in Bed and Other Sketches
My moments are numbered; and if I would expose him with my dying sigh, I must not sentimentalize over my own decay.
J.M. BARRIE
My Lady Nicotine
Courage is the thing. All goes if courage goes.
J.M. BARRIE
speech, May 3, 1922
Strictly speaking I never had a brother Henry, and yet I cannot say that Henry was an impostor.
J.M. BARRIE
My Lady Nicotine
My present state is so happy that I can only look back with wonder at my hesitation to enter upon it.
J.M. BARRIE
My Lady Nicotine
Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time.
J. M. BARRIE
Peter Pan
I never had a man nor a son nor anything. I just call myself Missis to give me a standing.
J.M. BARRIE
Echoes of the War
Most literary people die of starvation.
J.M. BARRIE
"Every Man His Own Doctor", A Holiday in Bed and Other Sketches
Do you know why swallows build in the eaves of houses? It is to listen to the stories.
J.M. BARRIE
Peter Pan
You just think lovely wonderful thoughts and they lift you up in the air.
J.M. BARRIE
Peter Pan
The moment one takes to bed he gets sympathy. He may be suffering from a tearing headache or a tooth that makes him cry out; but if he goes about his business, or even flops in a chair, true sympathy is denied him.
J.M. BARRIE
"A Holiday in Bed", A Holiday in Bed and Other Sketches