American pianist, actor, & comedian (1906-1972)
Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, TIME Magazine, August 28, 1972
I never read bad reviews about myself, because my friends invariably tell me about them.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, The Biteback Dictionary of Humorous Literary Quotations
I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, Memorable Quotations: Jewish Writers of the Past
How long have you been working for that virtuoso of the magic violin? I don't mean that as a compliment. I only say a magic violin because when he plays it, everyone disappears.
OSCAR LEVANT
"Jack Goes to Doctor", The Jack Benny Program, November 30, 1958
He uses his music as an accompaniment to his conducting.
OSCAR LEVANT
comment about Leonard Bernstein, The Memoirs of an Amnesiac
I played an unsympathetic part -- myself.
OSCAR LEVANT
on his role in the movie Humoresque, The Mammoth Book of Comic Quotes
I'm a study of a man in chaos in search of frenzy.
OSCAR LEVANT
TIME Magazine, May 5, 1958
In some situations I was difficult, in odd moments impossible, in rare moments loathsome, but at my best unapproachably great.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, Great Hollywood Wit
There is a thin line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, Celebrity Register: An Irreverent Compendium of American Quotable Notables
It's not a pretty face, I grant you. But underneath its flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.
OSCAR LEVANT
An American in Paris
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, The New Speaker's Treasury of Wit and Wisdom
I'm a controversial figure: my friends either dislike me or hate me.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, 20,000 Quips & Quotes
I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other patients.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, Memorable Quotations: Jewish Writers of the Past
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility. There are so few of us left.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, The Educator's Book of Quotes
My last picture for Warners was Romance on the High Seas. It was Doris Day's first picture; that was before she became a virgin.
OSCAR LEVANT
The Memoirs of an Amnesiac
The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, Values of the Wise: Humanity's Highest Aspirations
I envy people who drink -- at least they know what to blame everything on.
OSCAR LEVANT
attributed, The Portable Curmudgeon
She was born with a silver flask in her mouth.
OSCAR LEVANT
Humoresque
Now that Marilyn Monroe is kosher, Arthur Miller can eat her.
OSCAR LEVANT
comment upon Marilyn Monroe's conversion to Judaism, The Oscar Levant Show
I don't like to play the piano. It makes me too attractive.
OSCAR LEVANT
Humoresque